10:08 a.m. - 2002-02-08
A Rose For The Dead
Now Playing: �A Rose For The Dead� � Theatre of Tragedy
I�ve found that Lexington is about as musically alive as a silent movie. Now don�t get me wrong, there are many talented musicians here, it�s that they all want to play progressive or metal, which both are pass�. I can�t understand why people would limit their musical and conceptual horizons. I rehearsed with a guitarist and drummer the other day, and they�re both very talented, but they want to work on Dream Theater covers and go down this progressive avenue that really leads to nowhere. I�ve decided to do a couple more rehearsals with them, give them a chance. Honestly though, I need to find some people who are of the experimental/post-rock persuasion. It�s the only medium that I feel can I can truly express myself in.
Of course, that begs the second question. Even if I do find a way to express myself, will anyone be listening? Lately I feel more and more like an outsider in my own life. People I considered to be very close to me seem to be growing more and more distant. More than ever I�m of the mind that I�d rather be belittled to my face than just plain ignored. It seems that nobody wants to talk to me anymore. It�s not like I want someone to vent to, or to bitch about my life with. I just want to have a conversation with the people I care about, find out how they�re doing, what they�re thinking, feeling, etc.
It�s times like these that make a person question their worth. It�s easy to feel like you�re not important to anyone. I can�t say whether that�s really true or not, all I can do is express how I�m feeling.
Sometimes I wonder if my dreams are even worth pursuing. The notion that I could ever achieve any type of success as a singer/songwriter grows more ludicrous with each passing day. Who am I trying to fool, anyway? I don�t have any �real� musical talent. I just happen to write half-decent lyrics that draw upon obscure references to concepts that nobody really cares about anyway. It�s like trying to convince people through subliminal advertising that turnips can cure smallpox. Does it really make a difference? Does anything I say or do have an impact on anyone else�s life?
I wish I could say it did.
